The Two Types of Regret

People always say they regret the stupid things they did. And if they didn't do any stupid things, they regret not doing them. It can be defined as, "a feeling of sadness, repentance, or disappointment over something that has happened or been done." What is really better when you think about it? Doing something, being stupid, and feeling a lot of penitence over it, or not doing something and wondering...what if...all the time. Both are painful in their own way, and everyone has their preference. I tell myself that I'd go for the, "be stupid and regret it later, you only live once," kind, but I know I always end up with the "what if" kind. Skylar Grey's song "Words," is a perfect example of this kind of regret. It seems like she's regretting a missed chance with a lover. From what she says, she's going through a lot of pain with everything. That's why I think the, "you only live once, do it and regret later" kind of regret is better and easier to live with.

To begin, it seems like she's going through a lit of pain with her, "what if" regrets. The chorus is:
            "It's so loud inside my head
            With words that I should have said
            And as I drown in my regrets         

            I can't take back the words I never said..."

You can tell from her language she really wishes she should have done something. I think it's really interesting that she used the word "drown" when referring to her regrets. She's being engulfed and overwhelmed by her regrets. They are killing her inside. The way she sings this part also adds to the overall effect of it. In another part of the song, she says:

            "Always talking shit

            Took your advice and did the opposite            

            Just being young and stupid            

            I haven't been all that you could've hoped for            

            But if you'd held on a little longer            

            You'd have had more reasons to be proud..."

This part shows that she did "live" a little bit, but apparently it wasn't enough for her old love. She's saying she wished she had the chance to show him who she turned out to be, and that maybe things could've worked out for them. She remembers him, "talking shit," so obviously those memories aren't very fond, yet another reason to regret. You can really feel her pain. Especially when something a fragile as love is involved. It's so complicated and love is probably the number one source of regret collectively among all human beings. Whether it's love for a person, love for a thing, or even love for a concept. Love is love. Evidently, for this girl, it's cased her a lot of trouble. 

Secondly, you can also really tell she wished things had gone differently, and she regrets things didn't happen. It's made her crazy and she doesn't like it. This type of regret is hard on people and she just shows it perfectly. She says near the end if the song:

            "The longer I stand here            

            The louder the silence            

            I know that you're gone but sometimes I swear that I hear            

            Your voice when the wind blows            

            So I talk to the shadows

            Hoping you might be listening 'cause I want you to know..."

Clearly she is uneasy about the way things turned out. If she's talking to shadows and thinks this guy will hear her, something is wrong. Put simply, it's messing with her head. It's just so hard on her, it's made her crazy--literally. This is what happens to people who live with, "what if" regrets.

In conclusion, regretting something you have done in the past is easier to live with than the "what if" type of regret. You don't have to constantly be thinking of what could have happened...you can focus on what did, reflect on it, and fix it. It's kind of hard to do those things if you don't have anything to do them on. It's similar to being slapped, or waiting for someone to slap you. The anticipation alone is hard enough, minus the actual pain of being slapped. If people had less what ifs in their lives, the world would definitely be a wilder place. However, after one or two experiences, people would realize what is happening, and learn to either fix it, or keep doing what their doing. Regret about things you've done is hard to live with--I won't deny that. But regretting not doing something in the first place, and always wondering...well, that's just harder.

Here is the video if you want to hear the music for yourself. She didn't actually make an official music video for this song, but this version is fine too.