I am so frustrated with Holden right now, I don't even know where to begin. If you didn't read my last blog post, or haven't read The Catcher in the Rye, Holden Caulfield is the protagonist. He was kicked out of boarding school, and has decided to run away to New York City, where his family lives. Right now, he's there, but he's been staying in motels until Wednesday, when his I'm actually kind of worried about him...everything (and I mean everything) is making him depressed.
It seems like almost every five minutes he is saying to himself, "It makes me feel so...depressed." Almost everyone triggers an unhappy memory that makes him feel lonely or depressed. His mental health is not at where it's supposed to be. Sure, people are allowed to have moments when they feel sad, but with Holden, it's as if his entire life is one, giant, blob of depression. Personally, I love peace and quiet because I work more efficiently by myself. For me, solitude is wonderful. Holden, however, see's it as something different. "Everybody was asleep or out or home for the weekend, and it was very, very quiet and depressing in the corridor...All of a sudden, I decided what I'd really do, I'd get the hell out of Pencey-right that same night and all. I just didn't want to hang around any more. It made me too sad and lonesome." (51) I understand wanting to get the place that constantly reminds you of failure out of your head, but I don't think that Holden was really thinking about that aspect of his school. I think he was thinking more about the part where it just depressed him because it was so quiet. Holden is such a complicated character, sometimes I don't know what to think about him.
Also, as soon as Holden came into New York City, at least once every 2 pages something about it was depressing it. The thought that the ducks don't have anywhere to go in the winter depresses him. Thinking about his family depresses him. Seeing his brother's old girlfriend depresses him. Talking to people depresses him. The list could go on and on. The biggest sadness-factor for Holden would probably be his overall failure at life. Nothing he does seems to meet requirements.
Again, I go back to my theory I mentioned last week-Holden has predestined himself for failure, and with that mindset, he fails. There is an everlasting cycle that will viciously repeat itself until Holden starts gaining some confidence. First, he has the mindset that he will fail. Then, he fails. Then, he gets depressed about him failing, and thinks he will continue to fail...I've noticed some fleeting symbols of hope though. Holden sees moments of good things in life, and it makes me think he will recover from his depression. Then, something ruins it, and he goes back to being depressed.
Overall, I'm surprised that Holden's family hasn't taken notice of his illness. Depression is just as serious as diabetes and heart disease. If Holden really does have depression like I think he does, then I really hope he gets help by the end of the book. However, if he doesn't, and he just has an extremely pessimistic outlook on life, then I don't feel any pity towards him whatsoever. Holden needs to move on with his life, or, mark my words, his own negativity is what will bring him down. I feel it in my heart that Holden has great potential, but Holden doesn't believe he does.
At the beginning of the book, Holden wanted to make connections with other people and things in life, but he stopped himself because he knew it would probably end up depressing him. (Once more, I go back to my theory about his failure.) He would rather feel sad about leaving and not getting to connect with people, versus leaving and feeling sad about the connections he made. Self-pity against real sadness. As Shakespeare once said, "Tis better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all." This in all ways applies to Holden.
I am seeing people my age bummed about a test grade, or some other silly thing that they probably won't even remember in ten years, and I realize they really don't know what depression feels like. Holden has had such a bad life, but he is the kind of person I know can overcome the obstacles and emerge victorious. Confidence is key.
I went in to reading this book thinking that it would be an easy read, it's just a child's classic. I now realize that it is much more than that-Salinger subtly puts in ideas about real-world issues like depression. I am dying to see what will happen to Holden next, and whether or not he will prevail.
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