Be More Chill, by Ned Vizzini

I picked up this book because I had already read It's Kind of a Funny Story by this author and I liked it. In that book, the main character was funny, intelligent, clumsy, unlucky, and depressed. All these things combined made him very lovable and relatable. I'm not terribly far into this book, but I have a feeling I'm gonna like it too.

The main character in this book is named Jeremy Heere. He's pretty much your average, high school dork. He's in every drama production the school puts on, he is madly in love with a girl he will never get to have, and he doesn't have that many friends. Your typical high school-loser cliche. But somehow, Vizzini is managing to put his own spin on it.

One of the things I hate the most in literature, especially realistic fiction, are all the stereotypes and cliches. Normally, I'd put down this book right away and start something more original. I just can't seem to do that though. The main issue in books with a geeky, male protagonist is usually self-esteem or acceptance. Although I can see both of those issues pooping up, the author hasn't emphasized them enough to make them the main issues. I still feel like the real conflict hasn't been introduced yet. I am still waiting for Jeremy to make a mistake.

I am very interested in Jeremy as a character, and I will be tracking his development throughout this story. Right now, he is kind of sad and it is obvious he thinks he needs change in his life. I think he really wants to change, and I think that he will try to make it happen, unlike Holden Caulfield from The Catcher in the Rye. The two seem kind of similar; both are unlucky, bad at social interactions, and have a cynical outlook on life. The whole book, Holden complained and complained, and he wasn't doing anything about it. It took a very bad experience to wake him up and jumpstart his change. Jeremy on the other hand is different. He has this huge crush on a girl, and he tried speaking to her. He was going to give her chocolate, but it melted. He failed for a different reason than Holden: rotten luck. One thing all really good characters have in common is that they fail in some way. Atticus Finch from To Kill a Mockingbird did not win the case. However, he knew in his heart he was right, and it added to him as a character. Holden failed at everything, but eventually he learned from his mistakes and changed for the better. Jeremy failed this time, but it's safe to assume he will do a better job next time.

I think by the end of the book Jeremy will be what he hopes to be, which is popular. I think he will get the girl, and he will also become a better person, just from my other experiences with this author.

Hopefully, I'm right.

The Catcher in the Rye, by J. D. Salinger

If you haven't already read this book, you need to read it. It is considered to be a classic, and for good reason. First of all, the characters are stellar, especially Holden. (Read my other posts to find out more about him.) Even the small characters are great, such as Stradlater, (his roommate at his boarding school in the beginning of the book) and Sally Hayes (his ex-girlfriend). Salinger's craft is marvelous, and he is definitely in my top ten authors. The way the characters interact is so real, it makes me want to pick up this book and read it all over again. 

I've tracked some ideas and issues throughout this book, and after completing it, I can say that Holden's biggest antagonist was himself. Society also played a big role, but I believe that ultimately, he was the one holding himself back and stopping himself from living life to the fullest. In Holden's defense, he did have a mental disorder. I know I can't be that mad at him, but many times in the book he says, "I swear to God I'm a madman." (134). It's almost as if Holden was annoyed with himself for acting so crazy. The part that really gets to me, is that Holden became 100% aware of his problem, yet he didn't do anything to fix it, and he still complained! 

However, it is this contradiction that makes Holden such an interesting and thought-provoking character. He often refers to everyone around him as, "phonies." This is his word for people who pretend to be something that they're not, and just do things so people will think they are sophisticated. Holden basically thinks everyone in the world is a phony except his little sister, Phoebe. They share a lot of the same traits, which is the reason Holden actually loves her.  It was almost as if Holden had all this love inside that he needed to let out, but with time, the love turned to hatred, and the hatred made him a cynical and sad person. 

Holden really did change a lot though. At the beginning of the book, he hated the world so much that he would rather have not made connections with the people and places in it, just so he wouldn't be sad when he left. He knew ultimately that eventually people will have to leave everything, whether it be by death, or another form. Holden thought about suicide once in the book as well. At the end of the book, Holden tells the reader, "Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody." (214). This implies that Holden learned how to make connections to people; he learned how to love, and be happy. He is glad he made the connections, because it wouldn't hurt to tell if he hadn't. When his sister tells him she wants to run away with him out west, he sees a part of himself in her, and has an epiphany. He realizes that running away from life will benefit no one, and that there are people in the world who really care about him.

Overall, I think all of this and more is what makes Holden such a relatable character. He tells it like it is, and he's not afraid to speak his mind. He learns from his experiences, and by doing so gains wisdom. Everyone can learn something from him, whether it's about depression, relationships, coping with failure, or even expressing yourself. I hope, one day soon, that Salinger will speak to you like he did to me.

The Catcher in the Rye, by J. D. Salinger

I am so frustrated with Holden right now, I don't even know where to begin. If you didn't read my last blog post, or haven't read The Catcher in the Rye, Holden Caulfield is the protagonist. He was kicked out of boarding school, and has decided to run away to New York City, where his family lives. Right now, he's there, but he's been staying in motels until Wednesday, when his I'm actually kind of worried about him...everything (and I mean everything) is making him depressed.

It seems like almost every five minutes he is saying to himself, "It makes me feel so...depressed." Almost everyone triggers an unhappy memory that makes him feel lonely or depressed. His mental health is not at where it's supposed to be. Sure, people are allowed to have moments when they feel sad, but with Holden, it's as if his entire life is one, giant, blob of depression. Personally, I love peace and quiet because I work more efficiently by myself. For me, solitude is wonderful. Holden, however, see's it as something different. "Everybody was asleep or out or home for the weekend, and it was very, very quiet and depressing in the corridor...All of a sudden, I decided what I'd really do, I'd get the hell out of Pencey-right that same night and all. I just didn't want to hang around any more. It made me too sad and lonesome." (51) I understand wanting to get the place that constantly reminds you of failure out of your head, but I don't think that Holden was really thinking about that aspect of his school. I think he was thinking more about the part where it just depressed him because it was so quiet. Holden is such a complicated character, sometimes I don't know what to think about him.

Also, as soon as Holden came into New York City, at least once every 2 pages something about it was depressing it. The thought that the ducks don't have anywhere to go in the winter depresses him. Thinking about his family depresses him. Seeing his brother's old girlfriend depresses him. Talking to people depresses him. The list could go on and on. The biggest sadness-factor for Holden would probably be his overall failure at life. Nothing he does seems to meet requirements.

Again, I go back to my theory I mentioned last week-Holden has predestined himself for failure, and with that mindset, he fails. There is an everlasting cycle that will viciously repeat itself until Holden starts gaining some confidence. First, he has the mindset that he will fail. Then, he fails. Then, he gets depressed about him failing, and thinks he will continue to fail...I've noticed some fleeting symbols of hope though. Holden sees moments of good things in life, and it makes me think he will recover from his depression. Then, something ruins it, and he goes back to being depressed.

Overall, I'm surprised that Holden's family hasn't taken notice of his illness. Depression is just as serious as diabetes and heart disease. If Holden really does have depression like I think he does, then I really hope he gets help by the end of the book. However, if he doesn't, and he just has an extremely pessimistic outlook on life, then I don't feel any pity towards him whatsoever. Holden needs to move on with his life, or, mark my words, his own negativity is what will bring him down. I feel it in my heart that Holden has great potential, but Holden doesn't believe he does.

At the beginning of the book, Holden wanted to make connections with other people and things in life, but he stopped himself because he knew it would probably end up depressing him. (Once more, I go back to my theory about his failure.) He would rather feel sad about leaving and not getting to connect with people, versus leaving and feeling sad about the connections he made. Self-pity against real sadness. As Shakespeare once said, "Tis better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all." This in all ways applies to Holden.

I am seeing people my age bummed about a test grade, or some other silly thing that they probably won't even remember in ten years, and I realize they really don't know what depression feels like. Holden has had such a bad life, but he is the kind of person I know can overcome the obstacles and emerge victorious. Confidence is key.

I went in to reading this book thinking that it would be an easy read, it's just a child's classic. I now realize that it is much more than that-Salinger subtly puts in ideas about real-world issues like depression. I am dying to see what will happen to Holden next, and whether or not he will prevail.

Response to "World on Fire," by Sara McLachlan

The first time I read the lyrics to this song, (click here to read the lyrics) I thought it was about a girl, and how she felt alone in the world. I thought it was about her, and how she is confused and scared of a world that is "darkening" quickly. All that changed as soon as I saw the video. Based on the video, I don't think the song was at all intended to come off sounding about her-I think it was meant for everyone, in a global sense.


McLachlan should be venerated for her goodwill and compassion towards others. She spent the $150,000 given to her to produce this video all on other charities that would help the world. Often times, fancy music videos can cost up to 1 million dollars-her's only cost $15. The rest was given to those in need.


When reading the lyrics, I know for sure she didn't mean for anyone to take them literally. If you did, well...maybe you should look again. Most of the song is a metaphor about all the corruption and greed that is taking over and, "darkening" the world. Although our world has changed positively in many ways since long ago, it has also changed in just as many, or more, negative ways. 


The way I personally interpreted this song was through what I believed to be it's core messages: first, our world is becoming victim to the corruption and greed of it's inhabitants. Second, we really should change that. And third, no one person can do it alone-it will take many people to make a significant change in our world. The first part is shown right off the bat as soon as the song begins- "Hearts are worn in these dark ages...Night has fallen amongst the living and the dying..." Dark ages and night are most likely metaphors for all the terrible things that are slowly taking over the world. 


Although she never comes right out and sings, "WE NEED TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT ALL THE BAD THINGS WE SEE-IT'S NOT ENOUGH TO JUST BE AWARE  OF THEM," she does say, "I'll tap into the water, (I try to pull my ship), I try to bring more, more than I can handle, (bring it to the table), bring what I am able." I think that she is trying to subtly suggest that she is trying to make a difference, and perhaps you should too. 


The last core message is that she can't do it alone. She can't change the world alone. It doesn't only pertain to her, but to everyone-no one can try to change the world alone. The sentence, "I try to bring more, more than I can handle, (bring it to the table), bring what I am able." This has two meanings-the meaning mentioned above, as well as that she can only do so much. One person can start a movement, but it takes millions to make it true.


Overall, I think McLachlan's message needs to get across to more people. Never in the video does she ask for money-she is hoping that someone will be inspired, and go directly to a charity. Even if you don't like this song, I believe this song has something to say to everyone. Just because the tune may not be the catchiest, or she may not be the best singer, she does have valid points. Everyone can make a difference in our world. Even the small things count.


Here is the video in case you want to see for yourself: 

If that doesn't work, here's a link:
Click here for the video

The Catcher in the Rye, by J. D. Salinger

Ah, Holden Caulfield. What an interesting character. How could someone who is illiterate possibly have so much to say about life? How could someone, flunking out of the majority of his classes, possibly be so right about it? Holden is a big, juicy contradiction. (Like starbursts.)

Although I am barely into this book, I already know Holden is a very complex character. One thing that I think is very interesting is that he is completely and totally aware that he can't speak/write properly, and yet he doesn't do anything about it. This, and the fact that he is a bit lazy, is the root of his grade problem. Sure, he curses everyone that has to do with his failures, but they aren't really the ones to blame. It's ironic that, as I'm reading, I am seeing a thought-provoking side to him that he never shows his teachers. He ideas are wonderful, but he just has a hard time writing it down on paper. It seems like he wants to do better, but every time he tries, it fails. I think that part of the reason is because Holden has such a negative outlook on life in general.

I believe that Holden is 100% capable of doing better in school, and in life in general. A big chunk of the problem is that he has such a pessimistic mindset, that when he actually does something, he fails! In elementary school one time, there was this bench. It was pretty low to the ground, and people were jumping over it. I said I didn't want to because I was scared I wouldn't make it, and fall on my face. You know what happened? I tried to jump over it, and I didn't make it. Perhaps if Holden had a more confident outlook on life, he could accomplish his goals.

Holden actually said, "She's really smart...As a matter of fact, I'm the only dumb one in the family. My brother D.B.'s a writer and all, and my brother Allie, the one that died...was a wizard. I'm the only really dumb one." ("She" is referring to his younger sister Phoebe.) It's just plain sad that Holden thinks he isn't good enough, and is comparing himself to his other siblings. He is beating himself up, yet it seems as if he is unfazed. Holden has built walls around himself to protect him from his failure, which all started with his negative attitude. Holden's life would be a lot better if he just believed in himself, like I believe in him.

There are so many cynics and depressed people out there, that if they just believed in themselves and the world even a little bit, their lives could be much sunnier-and by extension, the lives of the people around them.