We Never Quite Lose It.

Everyone has that one stuffed animal, or that one blanket-that one comfort object they've had since they were a baby. Growing up brings so many new experiences, that people often hang on to whatever is familiar to them. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Absolutely everyone does it in some way or another. People hold on to their past to give them the strength to get through the future. This is clear in The Book Thief.  Numerous times, Hannah Tinti mentions the Characters holding on to a part of their past.

Benjamin is a very practical character...he knows how to get by and how to not make messed. He's been running scams for so long, it's numbed him in a way. He says something so chilling to Ren...it made me reread it several times to make sure my eyes weren't deceiving me. So a little background info for you: Ren and Benjamin and Tom were grave robbing and one of the bodies they stole was alive! It turned out his name was Dolly, and he was an assassin, but Ren found his sensitive side and befriended him. They tok this man out on one of their grave robbing excursions, and he started choking Benjamin, so Tom hit him with a shovel and knocked him out. When Benjamin said it was time to go, Ren refused to leave Dolly. Benjamin told Ren, "'Look...You just can't go around taking care of people. They'll grow to depend on you and then you won't be able to leave them when you have to.'" I actually felt a little piece of me shrivel up and die. It's happened in this book before, also. I think Benjamin is realistic to the point that's it's just cynical. The sad thing is, what he said is true. It can be applied to growing up, if you think about it. When we grow up, the things we know and love start to become socially unacceptable. This may mean hobbies, it may mean material things, or it may even mean losing your friends, like in this case. Part of growing up is learning what to do and what not to do...and learning about who you want to be as a person. Ren is learning that sometimes, letting things go is for the best.

As I mentioned earlier, everyone has that little something they hold onto from childhood. In this part os the story, Tom recently adopted Ren's friends from the orphanage, two twins named Brom and Itchy. Ren was showing them these very intricately carved toys, and they were playing with them. "The boys were too old for playthings, but all the fear and exhaustion left the twins faces as they looked over the intricately carved wooden pieces." This really shows how comforting holding onto your childhood can be. Amidst all the stress of new situations and just growing up in general, having something familiar brings back memories of a time when things were simple, and frankly it's just a soothing therapy to all the craziness.

The particular way Ren grew up is not at all common. Yet somehow Ren pushed past that, and despite all the terrible things he was exposed to he prevailed and didn’t turn out to be a terrible person. I think Hannah Tinti was trying to say that often times, kids don’t have any control about the way they grow up. It just happens to them. They have to just roll with it and make the best of their situation. Kids are often in a rush to grow up, but Ren wanted to hang on to every moment. He wanted to appreciate every little moment since his life was so unpredictable. I don’t think many children realize what a joy it is to grow up. Sure, there are struggles. But I don’t see the rush when there are even more struggles in adulthood. Childhood doesn’t last a long time, and children should hang onto every moment they can because when it ends, they’ll only wish they had. 

Kids should take the time to look around, and stretch out every moment to the fullest...because one day there won't be any more.

Radical Change

As we grow up, we define ourselves. We find who we really are, and what our values are. We discover what we truly care about, and what we want to do with our lives. We think about who we want to keep us company along for the ride. Many of us become people we never thought we could be, making complete metamorphoses. Everyone goes through their own struggles in their unique coming of age, but there's something about the whole process that everyone can relate too. This is what makes coming of age literature and films so timeless. 

People change so much in the span of a small amount of time, in relation to the grand scheme of their lives. For most people, in just a few short years, they've decided the general direction that their life is going to be headed. However, in some cases, they have no control of where they're headed.

They just have to ride the current and try not to drown in all the unsuspecting twists and turns.

They have no say in the cards they're given, they just have to make the limited choices they do have and try not to mess their life up. 

These stories are usually the most interesting ones to read. The Good Thief by Hannah Tinti is a good example of this. It's about a 12 year old orphan named Ren, who was dumped as a baby at a convent named Saint Anthony's in New England. It's clear that the story takes place pre-twentieth century, based on things like how they get from place to place, (by horse and buggy), and the types of technology mentioned. 

Ren's just like most kids...except for the fact that he's missing an arm. He never really found out how he lost it. All he knew was that's it had been that way since he came to Saint Anthony's, as only a baby. Missing an arm clearly presents a bit of a problem for him, as it would for anyone. It takes him longer to do work around the orphanage than it does for other kids. However, his disability has made him quite determined and dedicated to being as useful as the other kids. Ren also loves to imagine things, and is very creative. When one of the boys got adopted by a farmer, he imagined every detail about what his life would be like. He imagined what the farmer's wife would make for dinner, and how she would tuck him into bed at night. He has imagined these little scenarios multiple times in the book so far. He's very creative in this way, and he probably does this to replace the love he never got. To fulfill the empty void where memories like that should be. 

Another important hing about Ren is that he likes to steal things. Not anything so big that anyone would ever get mad, but just small things. Little knick-knacks he finds to be interesting. This comes in especially handy when a couple of scam artists take him in. 

A man named Benjamin Nab appears at the orphanage and tells an elaborate story about how he was Ren's long lost brother and how he's been looking for him ever since. Ren is elated at the prospect that he has real family now, and Benjamin gets to keep Ren. As Ren is saying his last goodbyes to the place he'd known his whole life, the author says, "All he'd ever wanted was to leave, but now as he was about to, he felt uneasy." I read this sentence and I'd felt like I'd been hit with a ton a bricks. It's so true, in coming of age, and even in life in general. As we grow up, we lose who we were and develop into the people we become.  

There's always a part of us that wants nothing more than to go back to the days when we lived simply, only caring about what was immediately next and not about the long run, and all the stresses and worries that come with age. 

It really shows how we lack to appreciate things until we know they'll be taken away from us. How when we grow up, we're never totally sure what we want or don't want. It shows how one can be so excited for the future, yet dread it at the same time. This is a bitter sweet moment in the book for Ren, as he's leaving the only people he's ever known, his only friends, to embark on a journey with a man he just met. 

The sign of a good book is if it makes you feel like you were right there with the character, think about what you would do if you were in that situation, and makes you think about your own life, which is exactly what this book has made me do. And I'm not even finished with it yet!

At the moment when Benjamin told Ren he wasn't his real brother, Ren's heart dropped. The hope that there was something good in life was shattered. Benjamin told him something that has stuck with me. he said, 

          "'Is that what you wanted to hear?'

          'No.'

          The man reached over, took hold of the lantern, and blew it our. Night enveloped the barn. 'Well,' he said at last to the darkness between them, 'that's when you know it's the truth.'"

That made a little part of me shrivel up and die inside. It's just so true! It speaks into the whole coming of age experience. It shows how utterly confusing growing up can be. What you think to be the truth always changes, and what you think should be the truth rarely is. It sums up the, "false-view-to-correct-view" journey that many characters (and people) take as they grow up. What one thinks to be reality when they're twelve changes drastically when they're 42. Some people reading that probably took it as pessimism, but Benjamin is just being realistic. Often times the truth is too hard for us to face so we contort reality to what fits our idea of what it should be. At some point, everyone realizes that they must accept what is, and not what they think it should be.

Ren's experiencing rapid change. He's being exposed to things that make him wise beyond his years. He's growing up in a dangerous environment that he didn't choose, and he's trying his best to grow up right. The environment Ren is growing up in is out of control, yet it's shaping who he is. The people he's growing up around are teaching him a way of life that he may never grow out of. His struggles are universal in that everyone has felt like they shouldn't be where they are, and that they are out of place. Everyone has been in situations out of their control and had to react accordingly.

My hope for Ren is that he learns from the unique way he's growing up and makes the best of it, like we all should.

A Look At Wahoo

Wahoo is the main character in Carl Hiassen's new book, Chomp. This kid is really deep, and I was surprised at how much he had going on below the surface. My intial impression of him was that he was a quiet, responsible kid, and I wasn't wrong. There was just so much more to him that I didn't expect. It made me think that maybe I judged him too quickly. As I read closely, I was surprised to really study his charcter, and who he really was, which, like most good characters, was complicated.

He got his finger chomped by an alligator, so he only has a stump of a thumb on his left hand. He seemed so tough to me, originally. I mean, he was dealing with alligators and 14 foot pythons on a daily basis, so how could he not? When I found out he used to be bullied in school, just because of his name, I was kind of surprised. I thought he would've been the fight-the-enemy kind of kid, not he kid running away. It just showed me that he's been through a lot, and that I drew conclusions too fast. Even as I slowed down, I was still surprised. Also, I just assumed he was a straight A student. He seemed like the perfect kid. He took care of his dad when he had a headache, he was responsible with the animals...I figured he was just great all around. When he told me about how he was never as smart as his sister, and that he mostly got Bs and Cs, I was quite surprised. He just seemed like the perfect kid...His parents still loved him and all, but still. Him not being perfect in some way makes him easier for readers to relate to, and I think that's what really matters here.

Clearly, I shouldn't have been so quick to judge him. He'd been through a lot more than I thought he has, and I constantly learned new things about him that surprised me. The experience made me think about my own life. Maybe I judge people too quickly, and there's probably a lot more to them than I think. Haven't we all done that at some point or another? I know, from now on, in books and real life, I'm going to learn everything I can about a character before a draw conclusions and make an analysis. If more people did that, the world would be a much more pleasant place to live in. Empathy connects us all.

Is Reality Worth It?

Reality can sometimes be harsh and cruel, to the point where we don't want to accept it. Sometimes, we choose to believe our own realities instead. In the back of our minds we know they're fake, yet we make ourselves believe they're real when all else fails. This is especially true in Carl Hiassen's new book, Chomp. Mickey Cray and his teenage son, Wahoo, are animal wranglers in Florida. This means they raise a bunch of different animals, ranging from alligators to monkeys, that people can rent out and use. Mickey used to be one of the best in the business, until an iguana which was frozen during a hard freeze in Florida fell on his head and gave him a concussion that caused him to get painful headaches frequently and see double. When a popular reality TV show called, Expedition Survival! wants to shoot an Everglades episode, they come to Mickey, wanting to use his animals, and they gladly accept the gig. They knew some of the stuff on the show was staged, being the nature lovers they are, but they were shocked to find out so much wasn't at all what it seemed.  Sometimes, in life, reality is tough to face and it becomes hard to blur the lines between what's real and what isn't.

Firstly, Wahoo avoids reality by choosing not to face the bad things in life. When he and Mickey come across a classmate of his named Tuna who has an abusive, alcoholic father, they bring her along for the Everglades adventure. Multiple times, Wahoo has nightmares about her father, but he always pictures him without a face. He says he couldn't humanize such a monster. That means he just can't bear to face the fact that horrible people like Tuna's dad are out there. It's just too much for him. Another way he did this was when he father was shot in the foot by Tuna's dad. Tuna's dad held Mickey hostage, and whil Wahoo was trying to distract him, Mickey said something that really annoyed Tuna's dad and he just shot him. Wahoo probably went through the following mental process: Oh my god, he's gonna shoot him. No, he wouldn't be that stupid to shoot him, would he? I'm not strong enough to watch my own dad die yet. He's not gonna die, what am I worrying about? OH MY GOD HE'S BEEN SHOT. He tried to convince himself in that split second that everything would be okay, but it wasn't. The shot wasn't fatal, but it was still pretty scary. Have you ever thought about losing someone close to you, like a parent? Have you ever thought about how life would be if they weren't around? It's a hard reality to face. It makes us shake our heads in denial and go back to the real world which we know we can handle. Wahoo clearly shows how we make believe reality isn't real when times are tough.

Secondly, Derek Badger, the star of the show who pretends to be an expert survialist, perfectly demonstrates how easy it is to blur the lines between what's real and what's not. When he is bitten by a bat, he makes himself believe he is turning into a real vampire. (Some germs from the infection may have had a little to do with it, but he had to believe it to some extent for him to act as absurd as he did.) He couldn't tell that vampires weren't real and that he wasn't one in the heat of the moment. It's that simple. He thought he was something he wasn't, and he convinced himself that was the truth. Period. Another way he does this (kind of indirectly I guess) is by pretending to be such a rugged outdoorsman on his show. Viewers get sucked into believing the lies he teels them. The whole preface of the show is that he is stranded somewhere by himself, when in fact he has loads of food and water at a stone's throw away. People are told a lie, and they believe. They don't bother to look any closer, becuase they are perfectly content with what they believe to be reality. Evidently, Derek Badger is a prime example of how we tend to mix up what is real and what isn't.

In conclusion, people will believe what they want, and there is no stopping that. Things are almost never exactly how they seem, and if they aren't what we want them to be, we often convince ourselves they are. if people took more time to look between the lines, our world might be more real. However, it also might be more depressing. What would happen if everyone just accepted the harsh realities? If no one could imagine otherwise, we would live in a very bland and boring world. This is an easy read, and I would recommend it to almost everyone.

The Two Types of Regret

People always say they regret the stupid things they did. And if they didn't do any stupid things, they regret not doing them. It can be defined as, "a feeling of sadness, repentance, or disappointment over something that has happened or been done." What is really better when you think about it? Doing something, being stupid, and feeling a lot of penitence over it, or not doing something and wondering...what if...all the time. Both are painful in their own way, and everyone has their preference. I tell myself that I'd go for the, "be stupid and regret it later, you only live once," kind, but I know I always end up with the "what if" kind. Skylar Grey's song "Words," is a perfect example of this kind of regret. It seems like she's regretting a missed chance with a lover. From what she says, she's going through a lot of pain with everything. That's why I think the, "you only live once, do it and regret later" kind of regret is better and easier to live with.

To begin, it seems like she's going through a lit of pain with her, "what if" regrets. The chorus is:
            "It's so loud inside my head
            With words that I should have said
            And as I drown in my regrets         

            I can't take back the words I never said..."

You can tell from her language she really wishes she should have done something. I think it's really interesting that she used the word "drown" when referring to her regrets. She's being engulfed and overwhelmed by her regrets. They are killing her inside. The way she sings this part also adds to the overall effect of it. In another part of the song, she says:

            "Always talking shit

            Took your advice and did the opposite            

            Just being young and stupid            

            I haven't been all that you could've hoped for            

            But if you'd held on a little longer            

            You'd have had more reasons to be proud..."

This part shows that she did "live" a little bit, but apparently it wasn't enough for her old love. She's saying she wished she had the chance to show him who she turned out to be, and that maybe things could've worked out for them. She remembers him, "talking shit," so obviously those memories aren't very fond, yet another reason to regret. You can really feel her pain. Especially when something a fragile as love is involved. It's so complicated and love is probably the number one source of regret collectively among all human beings. Whether it's love for a person, love for a thing, or even love for a concept. Love is love. Evidently, for this girl, it's cased her a lot of trouble. 

Secondly, you can also really tell she wished things had gone differently, and she regrets things didn't happen. It's made her crazy and she doesn't like it. This type of regret is hard on people and she just shows it perfectly. She says near the end if the song:

            "The longer I stand here            

            The louder the silence            

            I know that you're gone but sometimes I swear that I hear            

            Your voice when the wind blows            

            So I talk to the shadows

            Hoping you might be listening 'cause I want you to know..."

Clearly she is uneasy about the way things turned out. If she's talking to shadows and thinks this guy will hear her, something is wrong. Put simply, it's messing with her head. It's just so hard on her, it's made her crazy--literally. This is what happens to people who live with, "what if" regrets.

In conclusion, regretting something you have done in the past is easier to live with than the "what if" type of regret. You don't have to constantly be thinking of what could have happened...you can focus on what did, reflect on it, and fix it. It's kind of hard to do those things if you don't have anything to do them on. It's similar to being slapped, or waiting for someone to slap you. The anticipation alone is hard enough, minus the actual pain of being slapped. If people had less what ifs in their lives, the world would definitely be a wilder place. However, after one or two experiences, people would realize what is happening, and learn to either fix it, or keep doing what their doing. Regret about things you've done is hard to live with--I won't deny that. But regretting not doing something in the first place, and always wondering...well, that's just harder.

Here is the video if you want to hear the music for yourself. She didn't actually make an official music video for this song, but this version is fine too. 

Common Courtesy to the Extreme

Ms.Robbins is always telling us about "common courtesy." It's doing the little things that make you a good person. Some people do a lot of little things to help others out, and a lot of big things. One man I read about in an article titled "Man Embarks on Year of Random Kindnesses," from People are Awesome, is filling his whole year with small acts of kindness. He's doing all sorts of stuff, and documenting it all on his blog, just to be good. I think it's amazing, and if more people were like him, the world would be a lot pleasanter to live in. His name is Ryan Garcia, and he got the idea as  new year's resolution. He wanted to do something his daughter could look up to him for. Boy, did he choose a good way to accomplish that.

The things he's doing are things that we all have an option to do, but don't because it would be too much effort or we have better things to do. This man put aside his own duties, just to help others. Human kind should look up to him. One thing that he did was, "clean the snow off all the cars on his block." Think about that. That's pushing off a bunch of heavy snow, cleaning the frost off and everything...when it snows here, my dad can barely do it for our car. And yet somehow this guy is doing it for a bunch of people's car. You have to be extremely warmhearted and neighborly to do that. He also "took an Iraq war veteran and his family to a Northwestern University basketball game." I know I certainly wouldn't take a stranger in my car to someplace far away, but I guess I have to take into account where he lives, people are probably less likely to be crazy. Still, he paid for gas and everything. My cousin-in-law is in the army, and I'm glad people like Ryan respect him. Mr.Garcia should be all of our idols, After reading this, he is certainly mine.

Our world is filled with a bunch of people who take care of themselves. In general, it's a cruel harsh place. Then there are those people like Ryan Garcia, who balance out the rest of the world with their goodheartedness. It's made me think hard about what I do. My new year's resolution was to do something nice everyday...and I've kind of been keeping up with it...kind of...sometimes....most of the time...Anyway, people like Ryan encourage us to get out there and give back to the world. Reading about stories like his make me want to go out and do something nice, just for the heck of it! Kindness carries a lot of importance in my heart, as it should for everyone. In an ideal place, everyone would be like Ryan and do little things whenever they could...but that's not going to happen anytime soon. On the news every night they focus on all the murders and fires, and all the terrible stuff happening in the world. Maybe if they focused more on people like Ryan, a few more people would be inspired to do good deeds.

After all, it only takes a few people to start a movement.

State-Sanctioned Rape? Excuse Me?

I just finished reading Nicolas Kristof's article called, "When States Abuse Women." It was mainly about how many states are taking extreme measures to prevent abortions. In states like Texas, women getting an abortion are required (yes, it's MANDATORY) to get a vaginal ultrasound, listen to the fetus' heartbeat, watch it on a screen and listen to the doctor explain about all of the fetus' organs. Then, the girl has to sign papers saying she understands all of it, go home and wait 24 hours before she can come back and actually get the abortion. Many people are saying it borders on the definition of rape.

Rape is, after all, "putting any object into an orifice against a person’s will." That's what this is, except the state government is organizing it. "Twenty states now require abortion providers to conduct ultrasounds first in some situations, according to the Guttmacher Institute, a research organization. The new Texas law is the most extreme to take effect so far, but similar laws have been passed in North Carolina and Oklahoma and are on hold pending legal battles." Read that again. TWENTY STATES. That's almost half of our country. What I'm wondering is if these laws are constitutional. They probably are, but I'd like to investigate some more. I am just so shocked to learn about this. Yes, I knew people were against abortion. I knew a lot of people were against abortion. This just seems like a little bit over the boundary.

All these people seem just a tad hypocritical to me. They are so against abortion, yet they still do the following. "The small proportion of women and girls who aren't using contraceptives account for half of all abortions in America, according to Guttmacher. Yet Texas has some of the weakest sex-eduction programs in the nation, and last year but spending for family planning by 66 percent." It honestly makes no sense to me how they could possibly make women go through such hoops to get an abortion when in fact they are doing little to stop it from happening in the first place. I understand that they have their opinion about the matter, and I respect that, but they can't just complain about a problem and make it worse if they didn't try to prevent it in the first place! 



Personally, I am pro-choice. I think if a women wants an abortion, she should be able to get one, especially for young girls. People shouldn't bring a child into the world unless they are going to take care of it to the best of their ability, love it with all their heart, and provide it with a good life. That's my personal opinion on the matter. After reading the article, it just made me even more pro-choice, if that's even possible. I just couldn't believe some of the bigotry in our country. If a doctor has to probe a woman's vagina to stop her from getting an ultrasound, and make her do all that other crazy stuff, things are clearly out of hand. Some people see that, but until more people see that, nothing is going to get better any time soon.


Here's a link to the article if you want to check it out for yourself, which you should.